24,000 BTUs for Mother’s Day

By TIM BEELAND,

I’m sure hoping Granny’s rose bush keeps blooming until Sunday so I can mix a big wad of it in with about a half bushel of Wisteria and maybe a couple of bamboo fronds or something along that line. Something real fragrant, real big, real nice for a Mother’s Day corsage.

Daughter, Rachel-Johanna, is going to be on the Gulf for a wedding this weekend so it looks like it will all be left up to me to take care of her mother who, no doubt, will be missing her child come Sunday. I’m going to make her feel better!

I do believe that if you get enough stuff tied together you don’t even have to worry about a bow or any ribbon to make a fine corsage for mom. Plain old hay-baling string works great and, of course, you can stick a little duct tape in somewhere for added color. That stuff comes in lots of different hues these days.

If any of you out there feel so inclined you are more than welcome to steal the idea. I guarantee your wife or mother will be thrilled. My wife, Danny, always is.

Danny is a school teacher, in the midst of testing, so she needs something to lift her spirits after a hard week on the job. Speaking of which, it is hard to believe another school year is about to come to a close. Seems like it is too soon. I’m sure the kids don’t feel the same way. Teachers either for that matter.

By this time of year everybody is just about fed up with everybody. Teachers. Students. Administration. Parents. Testing, testing, testing. They are all ready for a break.

Let’s hope everyone has a great summer.

It kind of feels like summer this week. Temps pushing the 90-degree mark brought the flies out at our house and had the red dust swirling. It makes me want to pull out the old inflatable swimming pool we used for a party last August and take a cool dip.

But, I digress. Back to Mother’s Day and that corsage. I wonder who it was that invented the corsage. I’d like to shake that person’s hand. Danny might think otherwise since she has been the recipient of some whoppers over the decades. Some have even run up the front of her and then back down the back. Sort of like one of those fox things ladies used to wear tossed over their shoulder. You can imagine the twinkle in her eye every year as the second Sunday of May draws near.

There are the “regular” gift ideas. You know like dinner out, a box of candy, maybe a new vacuum cleaner or iron. We could use a new iron, but then we would have no excuse not to use it, and we did just buy a new vacuum so those are out. But why go the regular route anyway? I hardly ever go the regular route. Makes life more interesting, I think.

Danny’s birthday was this past Sunday and we didn’t do much. We picked up some new albums at a flea market and spent the afternoon on the porch spinning records. Sinatra At The Sands With Count Basie and The Orchestra Arranged and Conducted by Quincy Jones was a super buy at $1 for the two album collection. The records are in mint condition and made perfect dinner music as well. We will spin those again this holiday weekend, I’m sure.

I did spend part of last weekend under the house running the wiring for a new air conditioner — 24,000 BTUs mind you — and even though my dear wife squinched up her nose and told me I smelled like dirt, I’m sure she will be happy with the cool air as Mississippi’s summer arrives — and it will help keep the smell down too. Come to think of it who needs dinner out, candy, a new iron or even a vacuum cleaner when you’ve been gifted with 24,000 BTUs?

Yep, with 24,000 BTUs that old iron will work just fine and it will be cool in the house and that corsage won’t itch nearly as bad come Sunday.

Happy Mother’s Day, hun! And happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there. Mine in particular!